Today is one of those days that I realize that I really am considered an “adult” and that means dealing with adult situations. It’s also one of those days that I realize that I’m not ready for any of that. How can I be ready to be and handle being an adult when I still see myself as an older kid? I don’t remember giving my ok for this. When did this happen? And how DO I make it stop?
We seem to spend the first half of our lives wishing that we would just grow up so we can do “adult” things and the second half of our lives seems to be spent wishing we were younger. If I could go back in time, I would smack myself upside the head everytime I said “I wish I were older” or “When I grow up I’m going to…”. Because being a “grown-up” is never what you imagined it would be. Being a grown-up sucks! And I don’t want to do it. I don’t want to! I don’t want to! I don’t want to! 😦
Alright enough of my little tantrum. I just had to get that out. (And I now realize that maybe I’m not such a grown-up after all…Oh well.)
So, I really wanted this blog to be mostly fun and happy. I wanted it to be somewhere that I could tell my friends’ and I’s stories because more often than not reality is way more bizzare than something you could come up with. But sometimes life’s a bitch and it decides to smack you upside the head and knock you on your ass. Which is exactly what happened to my two closest friends and I. Sometime when we weren’t looking, everything got turned upside down.
It started last November when my friend WM’s dad got sick and ended up in the hospital. Every update she gave me just kept getting worse and worse and then he passed away. It all seemed so unreal and made us realize that we really were grown ups now.
After ending 2011 like that my friends and I thought that 2012 would have to be a better year. And it was…for about a month when everything just fell apart more. My husband and I suffered a loss in our family in February. Then in March my other friend, PR, lost her mom/best friend in an unexpected car crash. She was/is devastated and her whole world has changed.
Unfortunately, between November and March there were more than these losses and problems in each of our families. We all felt like we were bad luck and no one should be around us. We questioned what we ever did to be hit again and again and again with so much. I would love to say that things are looking up but that would be a lie. The problems continue and life doesn’t seem to be letting up much. It all still seems like some bad dream we just haven’t woken up from.
We’ve each changed in different ways. We’ve each gravitated to different things to help us try to cope. It seems that we have more bad days than good but right now we’re still fighting. Still struggling to hang on to some sense of normalcy, some small part of our lives before all of this happened.
Although very few, there are some positive things that came from all of this. We are more appreciative of the people in our lives. We know that we really are always there for each other no matter what life throws at us. And we are all stronger than we ever thought, even though most days it doesn’t feel that way.
Hi! I’ve never really done anything like this before (which I’m sure is pretty cliche to say for a first blog post but it’s true). I haven’t really decided what kind of a direction this is all going to take. All I know is that like most blogs this is going to be including mostly the good, the bad and the ugly stories of my life both past and present.
I guess that I should tell you a little bit about myself; but first I want to say that I in no way believe that I am more interesting than anybody else. In fact, I live a pretty boring life most of the time. Every once in a while, usually due to my two best friends, I end up with some really interesting stories.
So, about me. I am married. We have four cats: Lilly-the oldest and most finicky I guess is the word; Smokey-the trouble maker and bully; Snickers-her and Smokey were from the same litter and are exact opposites; and Copper-the last addition to the family, the only male cat, and the most nonchalant. (This will not be a post solely about cats but I can’t guarantee that there won’t be a few posts about them. I’ll try to warn you at the
beginning of the post though.) I am a self proclaimed dork and I own it. To me this means that I’m a little weird (ok maybe a lot weird) and I have a lot of quirks. I’m sure that you’ll learn a lot more about me as I continue to write posts.
So, for now I think I’m done introducing myself. I’m not really sure how often I’ll post. It’ll all depend on how motivated I am to start writing them (and just as an fyi I can be a pretty bad procrastinator). This should be interesting. 🙂